Top Five Relationship Green Flags

By Kaci Baez

Reviewed by Christine Davila, Ed.D.

If you’ve grown frustrated with a partner or relationship, it’s easy to focus on red flags and toxic behaviors. And while it’s important to know what toxic behaviors to look out for when dating or with other personal or professional relationships, it’s also critical to focus on positive signs and trust yourself to recognize a loving and healthy partner. Although having similar interests is important, relationships thrive on successful communication, compatibility, and support.

Here are the top five relationship green flags, according to experts.

Open and Honest Communication

The foundation for open and honest communication is trust. Trust is what allows us to express thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged and is critical to a healthy relationship. According to Tyler Jamison, Ph.D., “we need to believe that when we show ourselves fully, talk about our deepest fears or regrets, or become physically intimate, the other person is going to treat us with love and care.”
Genuine Compatibility and Shared Values

Per Annie Tanasugarn, Ph.D., CCTSA, “chemistry without authentic compatibility can result in an unfulfilling relationship. However, when compatibility is present in a healthy relationship, it enhances chemistry and often leads to a highly fulfilling and intimate connection between you and your partner.”

Compatibility includes the ability to communicate effectively and align on shared values and goals. And, according to Dr. Rostislav Ignatov, “while attraction is not the only thing that matters, having a strong attraction to your partner can create chemistry and deepen your emotional connection.”

Having shared life goals is also key. According to the Gottman Institute, “You don’t have to agree on everything, but you do need to align on what matters most. When you’ve found the right person, your fundamental values about family, career, spirituality, and life priorities complement each other in meaningful ways.”
The Ability to Resolve Conflict Effectively

According to the Gottman Institute, finding “the one” doesn’t mean never fighting; it means fighting well. They state: “When you’re with the one, conflicts feel like problems to solve together rather than battles to win. You both take responsibility for your part, you focus on specific behaviors rather than character attacks, and you’re both motivated to repair and reconnect after disagreements.”
Feeling Comfortable and Safe to Be Your Authentic Self

A healthy relationship is one where you feel supported, respected, and safe. Psychotherapist Ivy Kwong, LMFT, said it’s important to know, communicate, and honor your boundaries: “Boundaries help define who you are, determine what behaviors are acceptable and not acceptable to you, and teach other people how to treat you. Communicating boundaries, needs, and desires with courage and clarity in a relationship and respecting the boundaries of others and your own is a green flag in relationships.”

Boundaries often go hand in hand with respect. According to Lesli Doares, LMFT, author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage, “Respect is accepting each other as the unique individuals you both are. You honor each other’s qualities, experiences, and opinions as equally valid as your own.” What’s more, you actually enjoy spending time with the other person and have fun together.
Emotionally Available

An emotionally available partner handles vulnerabilities, owns mistakes, and validates feelings with care and empathy, not judgment, stonewalling, or anger. Emotional availability is also central to compatibility; if you and your partner are not on the same wavelength emotionally, you will not be able to meet each other’s relationship needs fully.

According to the Gottman Institute, “true intimacy requires emotional vulnerability, and intimate relationships create space for this authenticity. You can share your fears, insecurities, and deepest thoughts without judgment. You can cry, laugh, be silly, or be serious—all of it is welcome.”

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